You know what I figured out today? I’m actually a top level spy, and you probably are too. I’m talking about the double identity. Its something that almost all of us have mastered. We can almost instantaneously change everything about our personalities as soon as we come in contact with any group of people.
In spy lingo, that would be called a double agent. According to spymuseum.org, a double agent is “A spy who pretends to be working against one country but who is in fact working for that country’s opponent; often a conduit for disinformation”. So, just substitute the social group of your choice in for ‘country’ and you have the everyday double agent.
Basically, I’m destined to be the next James Bond or Ethan Hunt. When it comes to my double identity, I’ve got some skill. You might even say I’m on my way to becoming a Special Agent. But, while the spy comparison does make this seem pretty impressive, the truth is that my double identity is the thing I dislike most about myself.
What’s the point in having a unique personality that only one person in the world has if you’re just going to hide it behind a mask of something else? My true identity is what really matters. The real me is completely crazy, confident, and extremely sarcastic. I jam out to music that nobody else can hear (I have some pretty great playlists, by the way), manage to fit random movie quotes into most conversations complete with my imitation of the character’s voice (I specialize in Batman), and, on occasion, pretend to be a t-rex and run around my house making dinosaur sounds. I intentionally fall down, just so I can thrash around trying to get up with my tiny arms. Okay, so maybe that last one isn’t true. But seriously, since when is it not cool to be a t-rex?
Now, I know what your thinking. I just sound like such a cool person, why would I change anything?? But, sadly, I’ve got to say that once I leave my comfort zone and head out into the insanity that is social life, I become an entirely different person. I turn into a reserved, awkward, and self-conscious shell of myself. I do keep my sarcasm though, so that’s a bonus.
In reality, this double identity doesn’t make me more popular or make more friends. It probably does the opposite to be honest… Most people don’t really start to like me until they see my t-rex form.
So why do I still hide behind my double identity? Why do any of us? Everybody has their own reasons. Maybe its just how you protect yourself, if they don’t know the real you maybe they can’t hurt you so bad. Or maybe its because you feel like something about you doesn’t meet all the requirements, you just don’t feel like you’re good enough.
Whatever your reason is, your wrong. There is absolutely nothing better than your true identity. No matter what it is. So, my suggestion to you is to stop hiding behind your double identity and let people know who you are. Or, get in touch with the CIA. I’m sure they’re looking for some new double agents.