So, considering that this is a Monday post (and we all know exactly how I feel about Monday), I figured I should take pity on all of you and lay off all of the heavy, emotional, call to action posts. You’re welcome.

But, I also find it very hard to pass up on an opportunity to share a truly heartwarming story of kindness. Be warned: this quite possibly could lead to an all out cry fest. It’s a real tear-jerker. I even included additional pictures to add to the overall emotional effect.

Baby Groot says: "Read Sam O. Bscure!"
Baby Groot says: “Read Sam O. Bscure!”

It all started on a Sunday evening, Super Bowl Sunday to be exact. I had just returned from a wild party at my friends house. And by wild party I mean we were sitting on a couch eating mozzarella sticks while having our brains sucked out by that manipulative creature known as Netflix. I go hard, I’m a real party animal. Literally. Every Friday night, my dog and I crank up the jams and…. Then go to bed before nine.

So, as I was saying, I had just returned to my humble abode and settled into my desk to work on my next post. My tablet was turned on, waiting for my brilliant thoughts to be typed into its mechanical little brain. My notebook was open to my pages of notes that seem to be written in another language that not even I understand. And of course, my bobble headed baby Groot (courtesy of the delightful film Guardians of the Galaxy) was nodding his oversized head encouragingly.

Sam's Desk
Organization and I, we don’t get along.

I was ready. My mind was overflowing with ideas so wonderfully magnificent I could hardly contain them. But, then a thought suddenly occurred to me. I hadn’t checked in on my blog all day… What if one of my millions of devoted fans had left me a comment? They would be expecting to hear back from me, at that moment they were probably hovering anxiously over the screen of the technological device of their choice waiting. It would be cruel to leave them waiting!

Naturally, I hurriedly logged into my account. Not a single notification awaited me. Shrugging my shoulders, I logged back out and returned to my post writing. But then, another thought occurred to me. What if during the day, WordPress had a system failure? Clearly that must be why not a single person so much as liked any of my posts (*ahem, thanks a lot guys*…just kidding, I love you all). Of course, my fans are simply too dedicated to allow something as trivial as that to stop them. Obviously, they would just turn to another form of communication!

So, I rushed back to the wonderful internet and logged into my email, certain that there would be numerous messages awaiting me. But again, not a single one appeared.

I shed a few silent tears, quietly mourning the overall amount of pathetic that is my life. Then, right as I was about to end it all and delete each and every one of the accounts I had ever created out of utter despair, I noticed something. I had received an email! It had simply been misplaced in my spam folder!

Frantically throwing everything within reach off of my desk, I immediately opened the email. And let me tell you: it was the most beautiful thing I have ever read. I never thought it was possible to provide so much motivation with so few words. What was the source of this glorious message, you ask? Facebook.

Even just typing this I’m becoming emotional.. You know, I think the best solution would be to just show you:

 Email

Let’s all just ignore the fact that the only emails I’ve received came from Facebook… clearly that’s not the point. Instead, can we all just take a moment to appreciate just how truly genuine and motivating this is? “You have more friends than you think”. Wow… That just really touches my heart. In my moment of need, Facebook told me just what I needed to hear.

By this time, there was a flood warning issued due to all of my crying and Noah showed up with his ark offering to save two animals from each household.

But it doesn’t end there. Oh no, there is still more to go. For those of you struggling to keep your own tears at bay, I would recommend taking a brief break before continuing on with this emotional tale.

When I managed to get myself back together, I opened the email to read what other awe inspiring messages Facebook had to share with me.

And what I found inside that email can only be described as the most incredible object I have ever set my eyes on.

Allow me to show you:

the magic button

Facebook has done the unthinkable. With the click of a simple blue button, you can instantly go from a socially awkward loner to having your own posse!

Thank you Facebook.

On a somewhat related note: the Sam O. Bscure Facebook page will be launching shortly!

As soon as I stop sucking at everything involving technology… I need help…

-Sam

(To anyone who actually made it to the bottom of this post and read everything I wrote, you impress me. And I am sincerely sorry for those minutes of life you just lost)

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