Well hello there, you gorgeous thing you!

Oh, sorry. Not you. I was talking to that guy behind you, reading this over your shoulder.

Today was supposed to be the day that Charlie’s art was going to be featured, and I was extremely excited because her art is pretty great. And because that would mean I could just be lazy and post something that someone else labored over while I wasted my life away on various adorable baby critter videos.

But, alas, ’twas not meant to be. There’s been some slight conflict with Charlie… It’s been less than a week and I’ve already managed to cause problems. Oops.. But really, was it too much to ask her to draw me a fire-breathing unicorn-dragon-chupacabra hybrid on my ceiling? It seems pretty reasonable to me.. Anyway, hopefully that will be sorted out by next week. If not, you’ll just be stuck with my delightful artwork and I’ll have to draw my own fire-breathing unicorn-dragon-chupacabra (unidragbra?) which would be rather unfortunate for both of us.

Equally unfortunate is the fact that I am in no way prepared for a post. So, with that being said, in honor of February being Heart Awareness month and the impending horrors of Valentine’s day please enjoy this delightful poem I have created using heart healthy foods and clever wording:

 

My Sweet Potato,

Like brown rice you entice me

Like a papaya you set my heart on fi-ya

Your skin is soft as soy milk,

like silk

My sweet blueberry, say you’ll marry me!

We can elope, like cantaloupe

Like dark chocolate and almonds,

We were meant to be

Like oatmeal, you steal my heart

Don’t you see, you’re my perfect cup of tea?

Red bell peppers are hot, but they got nothing on you!

I’d give my kidney (bean) for you

I’d buy you a 14 carrot ring

Like flaxseed, I need you

Like tofu, I love you

Holy moly, broccoli!

You drive me walnuts!

Goodbye, my precious tuna

Seeya soon-a!

 

Ah, yes. Beautiful, isn’t it?

Feel free to send that to your Valentine this Saturday. I’m sure if they don’t love you now, they definitely will after they see this beauty!

Or they’ll never talk to you again…

That’s a risk I’m willing to take.

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