Heyo, happy Monday! Oh man, I do love Monday.

About as much as I love spiders, snakes, and the smell of dog vomit in the morning.

If you have a somewhat dependable memory, you might recall that in one of my previous posts, Sam vs. The Liebster Award, I mentioned that I had written a story as a small child about an angry chicken. If you do not have a dependable memory or for some strange reason that I cannot even imagine did not read that post, you do not know what I’m referring to. But, lucky for you, I’ve inserted a link here for your convenience. You’re quite welcome.

Anyway, in a strange turn of events, while I was cleaning my room (that in itself is a very strange and rare event) I actually found the notebook with the story. I also found the carcass of some sort of ancient monster resembling a spider and a stash of mismatched socks that my dog decided to create. Overall, the whole experience was rather unpleasant.

After reading this clever and rather witty creation of my childhood, I decided that there was just no way I could keep this to myself. Like any great artifact, I have left it untouched and unedited. It is 100% in the words of my 5 year old self.

With that being said, please enjoy this delightful tale of overcoming the challenges of a chicken.

The Chicken and Her Eggs

One day, a chicken named Chicky was sitting on her eggs. When the people who owned her came in and took her eggs, she got mad. All her life she had wanted to have a live chick.

At that moment, she decided she would find a way to stop them from taking her eggs.

So, she thought and thought. Then, she decided she would ask her friend, Dill the duck, to help her think of an idea.

When she got to Dill’s house, she knocked on the door and Dill answered it.

“Why are you here?” he asked, puzzled.

Chicky told him why she was there, then she asked if Dill could help. Dill suggested that Chicky would run away so the people could not get her eggs.

Chicky knew that she could not leave her home, she had too many friends here, and she couldn’t just leave them. So, she thanked Dill anyway. Then she went back home.

The next day, the people cam and took Chicky’s eggs again and she got mad again. But, this time she walked to her other friend’s house, who’s name was Porky the pig, and knocked on the door. Porky answered.

“Hi Chicky, what can I do for you?”

Chicky asked him what he would do if he really wanted an egg that hatched and people kept taking them. He said he would get them all dirty so that the people wouldn’t want to touch it. Chicky thought that it might work, so she decided to try it. She thanked Porky and went home.

That evening, she got her eggs all dirty. The next day, the people came to take her eggs. When they touched them, they jumped a little and then grabbed them. They looked at them and then cleaned them off.

Chicky was mad and a little confused too. So, this time she went to Bella the bunny’s house. She knocked on the door and Bella answered it.

She said “Oh, hi Chicky. How can I help you?”

Chicky asked what she would do if she always wanted a live chick but people kept taking them. Bella said if she always wanted a chick, she would be very protective and peck the people. Chicky said she would try it and tell her if it worked.

So, again she went home. The next day, the people came to take her eggs and Chicky pecked like crazy. The people screamed and yanked their hand out.

A few minutes later, they came back out with heavy duty gloves and grabbed her eggs again. This time she got really mad.

After she had calmed down, she went to Priscilla the pigeon’s house and knocked on the door. Priscilla answered it and asked “Why are you here instead of at home?”

Chicky told her, a little tired of explaining it. She wished they could just read her mind.

After she was done explaining, Priscilla told her that she knew what to do. She told Chicky that she had to go get Dill, Porky, and Bella and meet at Chicky’s house.

The next day, they all were in Chicky’s house when the people came. Then, when they tried to take Chicky’s eggs, they all jumped out and killed the people.

Chicky was so happy and all the animals had a party.

The end.

If that isn’t quality literature, then I don’t know what is. I find it to be very educating as well, it has a great moral: kill all the chickens before they kill you.

Also, if any of you happen to be publishers of children’s books, I think this story has some real potential.

And we’re off to a great start for another magnificent Monday.