Well, hello there.
Once again, we have made it half way through the week. Congratulations, I’m so proud of you. You are truly magnificent.
And now, let us carry on, my wayward sons.
Unfortunately, I must share some rather tragic and painful news with you.
On this date, June 4th of the year 2015, a great crime has been committed. Someone, of an unknown identity, has stolen the Sacred Sam Pen.
You see, this pen is the very origin of whatever writing skill I happen to posses. Without it, I am nothing. Since the start of this blog, it has been this pen that has written out the skeletons that were then shaped into the glorious, fantastic, and awe-inspiring posts (not to brag or anything) that you have read. Or just pretended to read, mmmmhm I know what you’re up to.
It is this pen that has filled countless pages in my Sacred Sam Notebook, each in it’s unique and vibrant blue ink. It cannot be replicated or simply replaced with some other pen claiming to be it’s ‘blue’ brethren. There are none like it.
There. Are. None.
Complete chaos has descended upon my world. I need my pen. At this moment, I can feel it calling to me from wherever it is being held captive. I must save it.
To the cold, heartless Satan spawn who has done this:
I don’t know who you are, or what you want, but I will find you. And I will kill you.