Greetings, you gorgeous things.

At last, exams have been completed. And, not to brag or anything, I managed to not fail any of them. Despite the fact that I did not study for any of them at most the night before, but generally more like five minutes before.

It’s astonishing really.

No doubt, due to this lucky occurrence, I will continue with my severely procrastinated actions until some day I crash and burn. And I mean all out crash face first before bursting into flames and self combusting.

Continuing on. I am writing to you today from college. University? That place you go after high school but before launching yourself completely into the cruel real world.

Why is it that I, a mere 16 year old, am attending this whatchamacallit?

I feel like I’ve built this up a little too much, let’s take it down a notch. The reason for this is simply because I’ve been given the opportunity to attend a two week creative writing class on campus. And, although many often say I am perfection incarnate, I believe that there is always room for improvement.

Unless your name happens to be Batman. In which case, there is simply no way to improve.

So, the point is, little Sam has been tossed into the college life like a baby into a kiddie pool. Sure, the situation is completely controlled and in reality not a lot like the real deal. But, still not entirely acceptable or likely to have a good outcome.

Of course, today was only the first day. It’s hard to say exactly what can be expected. Maybe I’ll do fine, and learn some rockin’ new writing skills. Or, maybe, baby Sam will drown in this figurative kiddie pool and never be heard from again. Meh, could go either way.

At the moment, if I’m being honest, things aren’t going quite as smoothly as expected. You see, today was the first day of class. And naturally, as you would expect, we did some classic icebreakers. One of these delightful bonding activities involved us saying our names followed by what head of an animal we would have in the situation that our natural human head was replaced by one of another creature.

I mean, it was a great activity. An extremely relevant topic and one that should be more openly considered by all. Who knows what the future holds.

But, do you know what animal I responded with? A lion? Tiger? Bear? Maybe a Unicorn?

No. A sugar glider.

Just take a moment to process that. That’s what everyone else in the class did. They sat there. Silently.

Have you seen a sugar glider? Just look up disturbing-creatures-with-eyes-that-look-like-those-of-a-demon and you’ll find it.

Absolutely marvelous, isn’t it?