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Well, I’ve managed to crawl my way back folks.
You know how it is: life is crazy busy, I have a job, I was too busy spending my time rescuing poor dogs from the cruelty of street dog gangs, hunting unicorns, and what not.
You know the drill. And you also know that all of that is complete potato fluff.
It’s Netflix, guys. The darn thing is out to get me.
For example, last night, I did not sleep. I watched Netflix. All. Night. Long. And, of course, into the unearthly hours of the morning.
It is the very bane of my existence.
Just now, I was trying to get in one of those fantastic afternoon siestas to catch up on all of the sleep that was so unjustly taken from me. And do you know what happened?
That’s right, kids. I ended up watching Netflix for five more hours.
My tablet is broken, and my phone was on a completely different level of my house.
How did that even happen?
I’ll tell you how. Netflix has grown stronger, developed a mind of its own. It feeds off of the weak willpower of people like me and it drains us until we are nothing more than a hollow shell of obscure TV quotes, unnecessary references, and intense emotion fueled by characters that are indeed fictional.
Help. Please help.

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