Can we all just agree right now that naps are fantastic? Of course.
Unless you’re a five year old child, naps are the highlight of your life. And, if you are a five year old child, first I would recommend that you stop reading blogs. What kind of mutant genius are you? Go eat some cookies and watch whatever cartoons you crazy kids watch these days. Secondly, give it time. Soon, you too shall learn to appreciate the glorious gift of naps.
Yet, to every rainbow and sparkle filled joy in life, there is an equally soul crushing moment.
In the case of naps, this moment is when you are forced to end it.
Now, this is not always true. There are, of course, some instances when you awaken from your slumber like the all powerful warrior that you are. You feel rejuvenated. It is magnificent.
But, these occurrences are quite rare.
The more likely result is that you will be summoned from your sleepytime like a demon from hell and obliterate anything or anyone in your wake.
I am not going to even for a moment pretend that this is not me. I am a demon.
If for some reason you are doubting this, which I would not recommend as I am always right and never to be doubted, I shall put your mind to rest.
As an excellent example, let’s discuss today.
I came home from school with a rather horrid headache, probably due to the pathetic remains of my soul attempting to escape from the terrifying confines of my head, and decided that the appropriate solution was to take a nap.
Look at that, I actually do make some decisions that aren’t entirely questionable.
So, naturally, I meandered down to the eternal darkness of my room. It reminds me of my true home.
I put on my fuzzy socks, because who doesn’t love fuzzy socks, and then I snuggled up with my rainbow unicorn. In moments, I had dozed off.
Some time later, my dearest mother dared to venture into my room in a valiant attempt to awaken me. She is truly a courageous woman.
She gently shook my shoulder, trying to ease me back into wakefulness.
And, do you know what my response was?
I doubt it.
But let me tell you. I growled at her.
I growled at my own mother. And not just a little sleepy mumbling growl that is due to the mind’s inability to properly form words. Oh, no. I sat up, threw my rainbow unicorn across the room where it brutally smacked its face against a wall (my apologies Princess Esmeralda), leaned into my mother’s face. And growled like the Satan spawn that I clearly am.
Of course, in her near 17 years of raising a demon as her child, my mother has seen far worse. So, her casual response was to tell me that I was being quite rude and then to proceed to pull me off of my bed and out of my room by my legs as I continued to make unnatural noises that could be categorized as something between a hiss and the sound a small animal makes as a larger one tears out its internal organs.
Naps are beautiful, aren’t they?