Hey, guess what time it is?
 That’s right! Time for Sam to reappear from the void and act like nothing ever happened.  Yeah, I’m a real blogger. I’m all about discipline and consistency. This blog is my pride and joy, I would never neglect it. 

Okay, fine. So I haven’t posted in five months, get off my case! I’ve been busy! I have school, and work, and dogs to pet, and food to eat, and people to stalk on Instagram, and a false persona to uphold on social media so people I don’t really even like will think I’m cool. Come on, you just don’t understand! It’s not like you have any personal experience with any of those things. 

Besides, everyone knows it’s not your past that defines you. It’s all about good intentions, right? Nothing else matters if you MEAN well. 

And, believe me, I mean so well. My intentions are so good. I’m like the Mother Teresa of good intentions. 

I’m totally not here just to quantify my worth with detailed WordPress statistics. They mean nothing to me, like I don’t even care if…..Wait, 3,488 views? Did someone actually just like my post? Thank God, I was worried I would have to delete it in fifteen minutes like that failed selfie on Facebook that nobody liked.