Sam O. Bscure


The Wrath of The Parental Figures

My children, I must type quickly for I do not have much time. They are coming for me.

I have angered them, the overlords, with my sassiness and intense sarcasm. It was simply too much. And now, they are coming to take from me the most precious of my possessions. My electronic devices.

But, this is not the end of their cruelty. No, they are also taking the one thing we all hold sacred. The one thing we treasure above our very lives. Wi-Fi. Continue reading “The Wrath of The Parental Figures”

The Incredible Emma and Project: Change

Sometimes, I find that it’s refreshing to look past my own glorious reflection in the mirror and acknowledge the fact that there are other people in this world.

Incredible, I know.

To be real, though, I am well aware of the fact that there are countless other humans, and the majority of them are far greater than I. Continue reading “The Incredible Emma and Project: Change”


It sat upon my shoulders, with beady eyes and gleaming teeth.

Sometimes It was light, a presence lurking still, but I was able to keep my shoulders square. I was able to keep my head up and a smile on my face, eyes bright. I was fine then.

But other times, It was the weight of the world. That was when it became impossible to stand tall, to look people in the eye, to function. I was not fine then. Continue reading “It”

A Post to Avoid My Feelings of Guilt For Skipping a Day of Posting (sorry)

I am running late today, my children. And, unfortunately (for you), this means that I do not have the time to write the sort of delightfully witty and just all around mind blowing sort of content you all look forward to each and every day.

I know, your day is likely ruined. And I apologize for this.

Do not weep for me, dear souls, for I shall soon return.

Do not forget me, for I am still here.

We shall conquer this Monday all together, as we have all those that have come before it. And on the other side of this uphill battle, we shall be reunited.

Be strong.

I believe in you, and that is a great honor.

Make me proud.

Dead Eyes


Where-where should I start?

Wherever you want.

But, I don’t-

The beginning. Start at the beginning.

It was dark.

Was it night?

No, just dark. There were clouds, I think it rained later that day.


We were-


You know, we.

I don’t know anything you don’t tell me.

Right, uh, okay. Michael, Hannah, me and…

And Lucy?

Yeah, and Lucy.


We were just hanging out-


My.. My house. We were at my house.

Were you there the entire time?

No.. No, we left a couple hours later.

And where did you go then?

We went out to Fischer Park.

All of you?

Yeah. Well, I mean, Michael didn’t stay there..

But he came with you.


And Lucy?

She, uh, yeah. She didn’t stay either.

Lucy and Michael, did they leave together?


Did they leave at the same time?

No, they left about a half hour apart.

So, they weren’t together after they left Fischer Park?

I… I don’t know.

Do you think they were?

I don’t-

What do you think?

I, uh, I think they were.

And why did you all go to Fischer Park?

Just to, you know, hang out.

Couldn’t you have hung out just as well if you stayed at your house?

Yeah, but…


Fischer Park.. I mean, there’s parties there. Everybody goes.

Parties. And what’s at these parties?

Nothing. It’s just.. Just a party.

Are you sure?


So, there was no drinking?

Well, I mean, of course there was. But-

Are you not under the legal drinking age?

I am.

Did Michael and Lucy drink?

I don’t know, probably.

Alright. Continue.

We just stayed at Fischer Park for a while, then we all went back to my house.

Around what time would you say you left the park?

I don’t know exactly, around two in the morning.

And when you got home?

When we got home… We found Michael and Lucy.

How did you find them?

You.. You know that. You don’t need me to tell you. Please don’t make me tell you..

As I said, I don’t know anything you don’t tell me.


How did you find Michael and Lucy when you got home.

They were… Hanging from the rafters.


Yes. Hanging, with ropes around their necks. Just… just staring.


With dead eyes. They were- Oh my God, they were dead.

So, it was suicide.

What? No… No, they would never..

They were killed?

Yes, God, someone killed them…

Do you have any idea who?

No, of course not!

Are you sure?

Yes, I’m sure. I have no clue what kind of monster would do that..

I could tell you.

You know?

Yes, we know.

Then why am I here?

Because you are the monster. You killed them.

A Call to Action For All Who Enjoy Naps

Today, on the third of December in the year 2015, I was told that I am too old for naps.

I know. Just take a moment. Read that again.


My apologies, how rude of me to caps lock. But you must understand, I am INCREDIBLY passionate about naps. If you would like further evidence of this fact, I recommend referencing this post in which I turned into the spawn of Satan when my nap time was threatened.


I love naps.

Now, this alone is concerning. The fact that a human who is currently living on this planet, at this very moment sharing our air, believes there is an age restriction on napping, it’s horrifying.

But, perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this event is the fact that this revolting comment came from another teenager. I feel betrayed by my fellow youths. I thought we were all in this together, a united front in defense of our precious daytime sleeping.

It is a necessity!

How else can you expect me to survive this school system? Not even my ten daily pots of coffee can maintain my life force.

Spread the word, my good people. Spread it like a deadly plague, throughout the world.



To Keep a Promise

When you locked me away, said I was crazy, I’m sure you thought it was the end. I must admit that I did as well.

I spent each day staring at the same four walls, all white and blank. In the beginning, I counted. Kept track of how much of my life had been taken from me. By you. By your betrayal.

But, I grew bored of that quickly. As you know, my mind is not as simple as others. Not as easy to occupy.

That was when my thoughts returned to you.

That was when I began to remember all of those things about you.

I remembered your promises, the ones you made in the beginning. That you would help me, you could fix me and make me better, you wouldn’t toss me into some institution.

I remember how it only took a few months for that to change, for you to regret those promises. You had always taken pride in your honor and your ability to keep your word, but I suppose even you had your limit.

I remember when you first betrayed me, when you told them. You told them I was crazy. They took one look at me and believed you.

And that was when they brought me here, surrounded me with white. White. A pure color. But here, nothing is pure.

If you thought I was insane before, just wait until you see the way this place has twisted my mind.

If you were afraid of me before, as you were on the night I carved you with that kitchen knife, wait until I show you the art I can create now.

My mind is not pure, it is not well. No, not even I can deny the way it has become tainted.

But you’re the only one to blame. If you had only kept your promise, then none of this would have to happen.

I’ll be coming soon, to see you.

And I’ll make sure you know what it means to keep a promise.

Big Sam is Always Watching

Look at this, two days in a row. How impressive. I am rising from the pit of procrastination, breaking free from the shackles of shilly-shally, clawing my way out of the trenches of tarry. And I’ve brought my knack for alliteration with me.

That’s right kids, I am back on my way to becoming Blogosphere’s Next Top Blogger and I am prepared to take out all who threaten my rise to power.

Watch your backs.

I’ve got eyes and ears.


I see all, I hear all, I know all.

In other news, I’ve just recently reached 300 followers and despite my façade of confidence, I’m honestly incredibly grateful to all of you.

As you are not able to see my face full of appreciation and all other nice emotions, I have decided to express my feelings via emoji.


Once again, thank you all.

Keep being awesome.

But not too awesome, because as expressed above, I do not handle competition well.


The Reality of Winter

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Photo by Sam O. Bscure

Winter has come, my children.

The air has taken on a chill that can slip through even the smallest of cracks between windows and sills and doors. Snow is floating gently to the ground, glinting in the weak winter sunlight that lasts for only a few precious hours each day. The trees stand as bare skeletons, bony limbs reaching to the sky in vain. The gleeful shouts of children fill the silence as they toss handfuls of snow and attempt to build snowmen.

Ah, yes. Winter. What a beautiful time of year.

That is, until you remember that with such a wintery wonderland, there also comes the embodiment of all things terrible.

My nose is running. My toes are cold. My fingers are cold. My ears are cold. My heart is nothing more than a chunk of ice, although that has nothing to do with the season.

On top of that, all knowledge of proper driving technique was forgotten the moment the first snowflake fell. And, as a person who walks most places, I am quite terrified.

And, let’s not forget that as the youngest person in my household, I am responsible for the shoveling of this frozen joy-hating water from our sidewalk. Along with the sidewalks of our neighbors, because I have to uphold my false image of being a pleasant and respectful young lady.

I’d also like to point out that I am not alone in my unhappiness. The dear and derpy Jarvis is also quite unsatisfied with these conditions. No longer does he eagerly romp to the door in hopes of being sent out to frolic in the yard. Now he attempts to hide, employing all objects large enough for his giant body to slink behind or under. Of course, his methods are rarely successful as he hasn’t truly mastered the art, and in the end he still finds himself tossed out into the cold.

Look at that face, that pathetic little face, pleading as I laugh at him from where I stand in my wool socks and ten million sweaters. That’s what you get for eating my cupcake last week, punk.

Some of you, the eternal optimists, may consider my feelings for winter to be uncalled for or extreme.

Winter isn’t all bad, you say. Fuzzy socks! Warm coffee! Hot cocoa! Crackling fires and family! Cozy blankets and movies! Sledding! Comfy sweaters! Yaaaaaaay!

And to you, there is only one thing I would like to say.


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