Sam O. Bscure




This Stupid Little Blog

It’s been five months since I’ve posted on this blog.

Now, that’s not to say it’s been five months since I’ve been on WordPress. In fact, it would be a stretch to say that there’s been even a month-long stretch of time between my visits to the platform itself.

You see, every month or so, I would come across some inspiring quote on Pinterest or Facebook or even in a good old-fashioned book. And, fueled by whatever wisdom I happened to stumble upon, I would find myself eagerly logging in and watching that ever changing Reader load on the screen before me.

I would browse through a few posts, looking to see who had held out and continued to blog after I’d quit.  I would like a few things, maybe comment on the blog of someone I was particularly fond of. Then, I’d click over to the stats page.

Of course, my stats were always bottomed out. Even during the period of time where I was consistently posting, my stats were far from noteworthy.

I was okay with that. I’ve never been a big fan of numbers anyway. If I was, perhaps I would have a promising career in the STEM field instead of planning on how to get by as an English major.

Regardless, at that point in the process, I would click to view my site itself in browser format. I would scroll through my own posts. Continue reading “This Stupid Little Blog”

Blogging is hard.

Said the wimp who’s been back to blogging for one day to the hardcore bloggers who’ve been posting for eons.

But it is.

How does one find that inspiration? How does one find that gloriously illuminated light bulb above one’s own head? There’s certainly no simple flicking of a switch to solve such an issue.

I’ve employed multiple strategies in my vast experience with blogging (believe it or not, I’ve actually been at it since December the 3rd, 2014 when I wrote this gem). And, thus, I have decided to impart upon you fortunate souls my wisdom.

I present to you…


A Revolution of Inspiration and Motivation and Such

We all have moments when we feel like giving up. We lack the drive to accomplish our goals. We lose the ambition to be the fantastic ruler of the world who sits nobly atop a unicorn whilst prancing through a kingdom of chocolate, that our five year old self knew we would be.
Sometimes, it just seems downright unrealistic.
But, I assure you, this is not true. All you need is a little motivation.
Like that dollop of fairy dust once given to you by the old man in a van who was most certainly King Oberon, ruler of the faries, a little motivation will give your mind just what it needs to realize those dreams can be a reality.
And so, my good people, I have come to you today offering you my very own greatest source of motivation and inspiration.
It’s simple, really. All you must do during times of mental frailty is ask yourself one question.
You may even find that this question is not entirely unheard of to you. I believe at some point a similar version was used by a fairly prominent religion. Or something like that.
Although, naturally, I have altered it slightly for my own personal application.
What is this question, you ask?
Well, please restrain your overeager equines.
Such a powerful technique does require some buildup and anticipation.
…Alright, that is adequate.
The question, the source of motivation and inspiration, is:
(That is, What Would The Sam Do?)
Now, originally, it would have been simply WWSD. But, of course, it can’t just be a general ‘Sam’. Who knows what kind of choices someone with a name like that could be making.
So, naturally, I added in a well placed adjective to stop that train wreck before it even had a chance to happen.
Now, the truth is this system is entirely flawed. I am ‘The Sam’. Thus, what I am doing is what The Sam would do. And, really, is that any motivation at all?
Sadly, it was not until after I had created the merch. line that I realized this tragic imperfection.
But, you most certainly are not ‘The Sam’ for there can only be one (if by chance you are, would you kindly leave your address and all other personal information below in the comments so that my team of people who are definitely not trained assasins may find you and honor you with a fluffy puppy and a celebratory cake), and this means that this incredibly clever creation shall not go to waste.
So, I present to you:

Complete with multicolored splotches to hide the stains you'll surely get, you messy thing (available in all sizes)

Brought to you by:


Order yours today!


A Tale of Chupacabra Woes


Once upon a time, in the land of Mehico, there was a baby chupacabra named Fluffy. Although he was just a baby, Fluffy’s life was hard. Everyday, as he frolicked about the vast wilderness searching for goats’ blood, he was surrounded by the mocking shouts of his brethren.

What kind of name was Fluffy?

Certainly not one suited for a chupacabra, they were hairless! The opposite of fluffy!

Fluffy hated his life.

He hated his parents for giving him that name, he hated the others for mocking him, and, more than anything, he hated himself for being so weird. All he wanted was to be like everyone else. He’d do anything to fit in.

With slimy chupacabra tears streaming down his hairless face, Fluffy continued on his path. Deeper and deeper he went into the darkness of the forest, farther and farther from the cruelty.

When at last he was free from their taunts and could no longer hear them, Fluffy let himself fall to the forest floor. And there he lay, eyes fixed on the thick canopy of leaves above him that blocked out all the light.

He was hurting. He could feel himself slowly sinking and losing sight of his own light.

Long after the sun had set, long after all others had gone to sleep, long after his own body had become cold and sore, Fluffy stayed.

Yet, it was at this moment that he realized he wasn’t the only one out here, falling apart under the dark cover of the night.

Slowly rising to his  feet, he crept forward towards the barely audible whimpering off to his right. Cautiously, he peeked out from around the trunk of a large tree and there he saw, laying broken and abandoned as he had been, another chupacabra.

“What’s your name?” he whispered.

Lifting her head, the other chupacabra turned and met his eyes with her own, still shimmering with tears and answered,


When Life Gives You Chaotic Lemons…

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Sometimes life can be overwhelming.

Of course, I don’t need to tell any of you this. You know it more than well enough for yourselves. There’s virtually constant pressure coming at us from all sides, and it can be challenging to stop yourself from caving in to it.

But, the amazing part is that you’re all still here. Despite how out of control it might seem, despite the fact that you might feel as though you aren’t keeping up, despite the amount of things going wrong, you are still here.

And that means you’re still doing great.

So, maybe you aren’t holding yourself together perfectly. It doesn’t matter, because you’re boring when you’re perfect. We all need to fall apart at some point.

And maybe you’ve begun battling your demons again. Don’t you worry. You’ve beat them before, you can do it again. I believe in you.

And if you’re worried about that opportunity you missed, if you’re afraid it was the last one you’ll get, stop. There will be more, and they will be better. Perhaps it will take a while, years even, but they will come. So forget about what you let pass by, and focus on the amazing things headed for you right now.

Maybe you’ve gotten a little lost, a little off track, a little behind. Then slow down, stop running blindly. It’s okay, you have time. I know it doesn’t feel like it, I know you think you need to go all out right now. But, what good does it do you if you’re going the wrong direction?

Yes, life can be overwhelming.

And yes, it is right now.

But, don’t you worry.

I know you can take it.

Cookies and Milk: A Match Made to Destroy Your Dreams

Once again we are faced with yet another Monday, and once again we are given no choice but to charge valiantly and courageously onward.

Well, I mean, we could always just call in sick. Or say our pet goldfish died. Or that we’re being hunted by a demented man with a machete and it would be putting our fellow peers at risk if we came in to work or school.

Really, all of these are quite believable.

But, being the respectable people that we all most certainly are, we shall not use them.

Oh, I know what you’re all thinking now: Wow. I must be such a strong, responsible, honest, incredible, fantastic, and just generally amazing person to be capable of resisting the temptation . Especially when I’m capable of creating such solid excuses. It’s truly impressive.

Well, those are your words, not mine. I’m much too humble to ever say something such as that about myself. Although, I cannot deny the very truth in it. I am, as you said, honest.

But, alas. I, Sam O. Bscure, also face the struggles just as you mere mortals do.

Now, if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I must climb off of my dangerously high horse so that we can continue on with this post.

Moving on, however, there is something quite serious I would like to share with you. You oh so fortunate souls.

You see, this weekend I had much time to contemplate the meaning of life and all other philosophical things. This often happens when ones wifi goes out for an extended period of time. But, it was during this time that I made a brilliant discovery. And so, it is at this time, on a Monday of all days, that I would like to bestow upon you my most brilliant of wisdom. Oh, look. Back up on that high horse. Darn critter just doesn’t know how to take a hint and leave!

So, without further ado:

A Moment of Truth With Sam

The process of completing anything in life is much like that of dipping a cookie in milk: you can see that in the end, what you achieve will be absolutely magical. But yet, as you near the achievement, you get too greedy and you leave that poor little cookie in the milk. Then, in an instant, it is crumbling into a thousand nasty, soggy chunks. And you are left with nothing more than a pile of grossness and uncontrollable rage filled disappointment.

The moral of this story, my dearest minions, keep your cookies and milk separate!

Oh, and don’t be greedy.

But, mostly the first part.

The Octopus Boy

Thanks so much to Hann for writing this inspired by Charlie’s artwork for Picture Prompt #3. Her stories are so creative! I hereby declare that Hann now has the Sam Seal of Approval, and if you don’t already follow her you most certainly should!

Sam ‘n Charlie: Picture Prompt #5

Property of Charlie Speratis
Property of Charlie Speratis

“This one’s a weed,” they said, disgust written plainly on their faces. “This one’s not as good as us, never will be.”

I could feel myself wilting, beaten down beneath their harsh glares and judgment. I shriveled up, curling in on myself, starved of approval and love. My roots were shallow, I couldn’t reach beyond them. It was killing me. I was a flower, and everyone knows a flower can’t survive without light and care.

But, what if they were right? What if I was a weed? Would that change things?

If I was a weed…

That would make me a fighter, adapting and surviving. Despite the drought, despite the poor soil, I would still grow. Pushing my way up through the sidewalk crack, where they told me not to go. Wherever I set my mind, wherever my dreams and my will take me, that’s where I grow.

So what if I lose the delicate petals and the beauty of a flower? That only made me fragile anyway. Forget about depending on others to help carry me on. I’ll do it myself, let the wind carry me where I’m meant to be. I don’t need to be admired and wanted by the majority, they had to destroy you first. Besides, all of those things that they say make me ugly are what I say makes me beautiful, what makes US beautiful. The battle scars, what remains of past struggles and challenges overcome. The faded colors, memories of everything we’ve endured. The ever climbing vine, proof of our ability to achieve, our ability to overcome.

In the end, they were right. This one is a weed. And yes, this one will never be like them. And yes, this one is not as good as them.

This one is better.

Sorry for the delay, my wifi hasn’t been cooperating.

As always, feel free to use the prompt (giving Charlie Speratis credit for the art, of course) and leave us a link to check it out.

Keep growing and climbing, you crazy little weed.

Sam ‘n 200

art by Charlie Speratis
art by Charlie Speratis

I’ve just reached 200 followers, and to me that’s just completely mind blowing and amazing, especially considering I haven’t really posted for the last two weeks… I’ve also just been nominated for two awards by BubbaKavangha and Asil, so thank you so much to both of those amazing bloggers.

To all of you, I want you to know that I appreciate you so much more than you might think. I’ve loved having the chance to find so many crazy and wonderful people that I wouldn’t have without this blog. Your stories have touched my heart, your support has inspired me, and your humor has left me laughing very loudly in very public places. And love all of it.

I also want to thank Charlie, who has really been the biggest inspiration and supporter for me. I don’t doubt that quite a few of you were only sucked into this blog by her artwork that she creates just for me to use on this blog. As much as I wish she could, she doesn’t really get anything out of the deal other than a “THANK YOU! THAT’S SO AMAZING!” text from me, an occasional hug, and the compliments you leave her in the comments. And yet, she still creates that crazy beautiful artwork every week.

So, to each and every one of you, thank you.

I’ve loved getting to know you so far, and I’m always looking for new blogs, new posts, and any ideas or criticism so feel free to get in touch with me through email or through the comments.

You all are quite wonderful. But, still not as wonderful as Batman. Sorry.

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